A couple of days ago, I read with interest, a FaceBook post by a lady I don't know.
She was informing her FaceBook friends (and I suppose her personal friends) that she no longer wished to talk to anyone interested in dissing their husbands. She said she'd be glad to pray for and try to help anyone who came to her and admitted they had a problem in their marriage, but no more (and she was emphatic) would she discuss spouses in a deragatoty manner. She said she felt obligated to the complainer to join in and diss her own husband . . . or agree that the other's husband deserved distain.
I mentally filed the post into my "to each his own" file and continued down the long list of news feed posts. Moments later a response popped into my mind. And wouldn't you know . . . FaceBook, as it often does . . . had carried that post off to la-la land . . . never to be seen again.
Well, the more I thought of it, the more I felt the lady's post needed a better response than the "Preach it, sister" and "Count me in." answers she was receiving.
I'm sure she'd hoped to make the offending ladies feel guilty, and thereby stop their unsavory practice. But did it have that effect? Most likely not. I remember thinking, "So you've never needed to vent about your spouse? Aren't you the lucky one?"
To me it seemed a little akin to saying "If you don't love my Jesus, I don't want to talk to you." One would certainly limit their chances to witness if they took that stand. And adding that you're available for prayer and councel doesn't help much. Most people won't come out directly and say "I need help." You must be perceptive in detecting a problem, then you usually have to cajole them into admitting they have one, if you're hoping to help them address it.
A woman who disses her husband is having marital problems,whether she wants to admit it or not. It may only be her problem . . . but there is something wrong, because that isn't the way God meant for our relationships to play out. It should be "you and me against the world, babe."
When a friend comes to you with snide remarks about her spouse . . . this is your chance to help her get to the bottom of her resentment. It could be your chance to save a marriage that is just beginning to crumble. You don't have to throw your own husband under the bus to make her feel okay about herself. (Although I would avoid talking about him in glowing terms at this particular moment.)
But you could point out several things that your friend may not understand. #1. Men are not born with a romantic spirit. It's learned. Maybe he hasn't had the opportunity to learn yet. Maybe you could help him. #2. Men look at everything differently. No matter how important your purchase of a particular piece of furniture is, it doesn't compare in urgency to the football game that's currently being aired. Say what you will . . . this is life. If that makes you miserable, you're just going to have to get over it. God made men to be what they are . . . not what you wish they were. #3. Last, but not least, I read some time ago a very wise mantra: "If his manner of loving doesn't meet your expectations, remember he's loving you the best way he knows how."
Keep in mind, ladies . . . Satan is always standing by to hand you a wedge to force between yourself and your husband. Don't accept his offering.